I was introduced to the Early Morning Meditation in Findhorn by Angus Marland, a long term community member.  Angus held the focus for the Main Sanctuary in Findhorn for a very long time.  He told me, 'we are making a Field.'  I didn't know what he was talking about when he first mentioned this to me.  I started going to the early morning meditations, starting at 6.30 am and lasting for one hour in 2014.  At first I could not even sit straight for the whole hour.  But after a week or two of falling asleep, my body learned to stay awake.  At first I sat on a chair to support my back.  When I learned to stay awake, I could then sit on a 'zafu' a meditation cushion, like the one in the photo above, for a whole hour.  Then the magic started to happen.  
At first my mind was so noisy.  My head was a chatter-box of constant talk, talk, talk.  I learned to let my mind have its way, to say everything it wants to say.  Then came a moment of perfect silence, a touch of profound space.  I noticed it and welcomed it to my 'being.'  In the summer time, I went to the early morning meditation in the Main Sanctuary almost every day, five days a week.  It is easier here, in the far north (57 degrees North) to be up early in the summer, than in the winter.  With constant 'turning up' and practice the quality of the silence and my contact with the 'source' kept growing.  The practice of early morning meditation has had a noticeable impact on the quality of my daily life.  Sometimes I would grow tired during the day because of the early morning start.  I also had to sleep earlier than before.  These minor adjustments were definitely worth the exchange.  I felt like I had reached a gold-mine inside me during the long, quiet, and peaceful morning meditations.
When the fires came to swallow our Sanctuary in April 2021, I was a Sanctuary holder, which meant I would arrive 10-15 minutes before the others to light the candle, open the curtains, sit down quietly to hold the space for our hour long meditation.  I also marked the hour by ringing the bell at the start and end of the hour.  The early morning meditation is held in complete silence.  So I didn't need to think about what to say, or not to say to the other community meditators or guests.  Since that Monday morning in April, we didn't have a home for our community practice.  No early morning meditation was held for the community, although the 8.35 am meditations were held both in the Singing Chamber, and in the Universal Hall, sometimes simultaneously.
I am excited to say that we will resume our practice from tomorrow morning.  I have re-organised my massage practice room, to make it available for our golden hour of meditation from 7.00 - 7.50.  We will experiment with the time and place, until it will find a form that will work for us.  
Recently I've been introduced to Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche.  I've listened to this talk of his at the London School of Economics in August 2019.  He explains the process of meditation in a humorous and easy-to-relate-to way.  It is 1:44:40 long.  A great help to re-start our early morning practice here in Findhorn.  You can think of anything except for cheese, beens, chips.  Have fun with this great teacher and your own golden hour of space and time for your mind, body, and spirit.

Polar Bear Swim is a tradition started by the Greek immigrant, Peter Pantages to Vancouver, Canada in 1920.  Since then it has grown around the world.  By now thousands of people plunge into the sea, or a body of water near them on New Year's Day.  It is a way of greeting the New Year with bravado and good cheer.
So here in Findhorn we took to the North Sea in mid-day.  We had a balmy New Year at 12 degrees centigrade.  I've never had such a hot 1st of January this far north.  There was no wind, and the tide was high.  An ideal condition for our brave plunge into the ocean!
Alan led the attunement and did the precautionary preparation for the people who were taking to the sea, at this time of the year for the first time.  I led a brief warm up exercise to wake up our joints and spine.  Then we were taking our clothes off (with our swimming costume underneath) and running to the sea.  The sea was welcomingly pleasant today.  It was cold yes, and it felt lovely to meet it.  I had prepared myself mentally before taking to the sea today.  I knew I wanted to meet it softly and allow myself to embrace the sea, and be embraced by it.  I had shared this intention with Alan earlier in the morning before we left our home.  What happened when I was in the sea was a little gift from the ocean.  I saw Ruby nearby me.  I went up to her and said 'Ruby I need a little hug.'  There we embraced in the ocean ~ a warm lasting hug.  
We walked back to the shore, embraced by the sea.  This was my 9th Polar Bear Swim in the North Sea, and Alan's 40th.  What a great way to start the year!

When I reached home, in time for my call with Aref, I was shocked to be hung up on the call.  'Something's come up, can't talk to you right now,' read the text on my phone display.  I felt a space that was warm and receptive, indeed as divinely creative as Chrystal is to me, closed down.  And then came the breathlessness of death.  My relationship with Aref died with this missed appointment, with the missed opportunity to communicate truly.  I felt I lost a friend and colleague I loved as dearly as my own beloved son.    

According to Eileen, everyone has access to their inner knowing.  In the calm and deep space of the Sanctuary here, answers come easily, once you enter the inner sanctum.  This is the golden key to our balance and freedom.  

So what are the symbols of your feminine and masculine energies?  What are their relationship like?  What is the synergy of their relationship?  

© Pupak Haghighi

The forecast was rain.  The place was an ancient Pictish cave by the wild Moray Firth coast, about 1/2 hour away from our home.  The day was the 13th of October, 5 years to the day we entered our relationship.  We watched the weather closely.  There was no sign of rain at 8 am, when we had to make the final decision about the location.  Will we go for the wild coast, or do we choose the safer option of a sheltered woodland site?
 
The rain was holding back.  We looked at each other; we knew what we wanted.  Judith, our celebrant turned up punctually at 8.00.  'It is the cave!' we said.  She was concerned, as we were for the guests slipping on the wet rocks.  But she trusted us, and a decision was made.  Our two sons, Kevin and Ocean, as well as my friend and maid of honour, Swan, accompanied us to the cave to set up the space and receive our guests. 
 
I saw Ocean outside the cave, looking to the sea with an expression of amazement and joy!  'They are dolphines,' he said.  I looked to where he was pointing.  They were a pod, jumping!  Our guests arrived one by one as I spotted the dolphines.  
 
Our vows had 4 dimensions.  Alan and I gradually crafted them over weeks of conversation, reflection, adding and deleting words.  We vowed to support one another in our persoanl growth, our planetary service, on our spiritual paths.  We vowed to have patience and compassion for our blind or unconscious selves to become known and loved.  Just as we finished saying our vows, a sweet and gentle rain sealed our marriage as Judith pronounced us husband and wife.  Then every one at once had to rush to escape the incoming tide.  There, there, they were again.  The dolphines were now swimming in the opposite direction, accompanying our guests from the sea as everyone lined up to climb the rope ladder back to higher grounds.  Then the rain came.  It poured mightily as our guests scattered the seed-balls we had prepared as part of our ceremony to regenrate a burned out landscape scarred by fires this last autumn.  
 
Part II of our wedding day was made possible by the generous support of our friends in the community who cooked the meal for our guests as a gift to us.  The rain did not cease for the rest of the evening.  Our plans to have a storytelling fire outdoors was changed to having a beautiful storytelling space indoors, filled with late autumn flowers, gifted to us by a generous friend who has been tending her flower garden for years.  Stories, songs, and dances blossomed in our community space, as our guests one, by one, contributed their gifts and shared their talents.  Our married life started with wild blessings from nature and continued with generous gifts of service, flowers, songs, and stories from our friends and community.  We spent a beautiful honeymoon on the islands of Orkney when we had a rainbow greeting us every day.  
 

There are only two feelings.  Love and fear.
There are only two languages.  Love and fear.
There are only two activities.  Love and fear.
There are only two motives, two procedures, two frameworks, two results.  Love and fear.
Love and fear.

A Common Prayer, Leunig

The Soil Alchemy, a project to transform our food waste to compost in Northern Iran, is on my mind.
This quote by Leunig sums up my experience with our project.

My friend Swan Treasure gifted me this beautiful hat she hand-felted for my travels to the Middle East.  My travels started early this morning when my partner Alan, drove me to Inverness airport.  I boarded the 7 am flight to be at the Iranian Consulate in High Street Kensington before noon, when their offices close.  However upon arriving there, it soon became evident that no one was going to open the doors.